OMHR

Let's play matchmaker.

When Nebraska joined the Big Ten back in 2009, the conference tried to split the divisions based on historical success. That led to the now-infamous “Legends and Leaders” divisions, wherein Iowa was playing Michigan, MSU, Nebraska, Northwestern and Minnesota every year.

You’ll note that Ohio State wasn’t included in that list, which led to an obvious problem: If Michigan and Ohio State aren’t in the same division, how does the conference ensure that the North’s biggest rivalry gets played annually? The answer was protected rivalry games; Michigan would play its five division games, plus Ohio State, plus two other crossovers chosen at random.

But protecting Michigan-Ohio State created yet another problem, because Michigan-OSU wasn’t the only rivalry being pulled apart by the new division setup. Wisconsin was moving into the east-centric division, which meant it would no longer get an annual game with Minnesota — the most-played game in FBS football — or Iowa. And Northwestern would not get a yearly game against in-state foe Illinois.

The Big Ten responded like the dutiful parent it was, and made sure there was equal treatment for all its kids. Everyone would get a protected cross-division rival. Minnesota and Wisconsin would again be paired up. Northwestern would play Illinois. And the conference’s two newcomers, Penn State and Nebraska, would be paired up to battle out their AP poll wars from the 80s and 90s. Given that Penn State had just about made the national championship in 2008 and Nebraska had won the Big 12 North in 2009, their current standing lent to the rivalry, as well.

Nobody got a worse draw in the Legends and Leaders rivalry lottery than Iowa. The Hawkeyes lost their annual game with Wisconsin (the only other B1G-recognized rivalry games to go by the wayside were Land Grant, which was always a trophy in search of a reason, and Northwestern-Purdue, which I honestly didn’t know was a rivalry until now) and didn’t have a natural connection with any of the other schools in search of a dance partner. The Big Ten announced that Iowa’s cross-division rival would be Purdue. This was the general reaction from Iowa to the news that Wisconsin was out and Purdue was now a hated rival:

Despite our best efforts, Iowa-Purdue never really caught on as a rivalry, mostly because a debate over the proper color of gold in a uniform isn’t really a thing. As bad as that turned out, it paled in comparison to Penn State-Nebraska, which ran into the immediate problem of Joe Paterno being dismissed, coupled with Nebraska slowly degrading like a piece of plutonium. It’s not easy to pitch a pair of historical powerhouse programs as newfangled rivals when both are actively running away from those historical powerhouse pasts.

Nebraska and Penn State played three times in the Legends and Leaders era. Nebraska won them all. The first was played three days after Paterno was fired. The last came one year before Bo Pelini was out. The rivalry didn’t take during that three-year stretch; Nebraska and Penn State have only played twice since the Big Ten scrapped its original division setup and went East and West, the games were split (Penn State won in 2017 as Nebraska circled the drain; Nebraska won in 2020 as Covid Penn State started 0-5), and nobody really seemed to care that much about either of them.

The upshot of that is that Penn State has been in the Big Ten for 33 years and doesn’t really have a rival. Sure, they get lumped in with Ohio State and Michigan as the East’s third prestige program, but playing third wheel to the conference’s biggest rivalry isn’t becoming of a program of their stature. The Michigan State thing was contrived from the start, as the Wikipedia entry on the “rivalry” confirms:

When Penn State joined the Big Ten Conference in 1993, the Nittany Lions and Spartans were designated as permanent rivals, and met each other for the trophy in the last week of conference play. The trophy, designed by former Michigan State coach George Perles, features pictures of Penn State's Old Main and Michigan State's Beaumont Tower, as well as figurines of The Spartan and Nittany Lion Shrine statues.

Michigan State University, followed by Penn State University, are the nation's oldest land-grant universities, hence the name for the trophy. In 1955 on the 100th anniversary of the founding of the land grant system, Michigan State and Penn State were commemorated on a U.S. postage stamp honoring the "First of the Land-Grant Colleges". These two universities were the first ever universities to be placed on a U.S. postage stamp.

You can’t have a rivalry when you’ve shared a U.S. postage stamp together. That’s disgusting.

So if Penn State can’t have Ohio State or Michigan, the Michigan State thing was a forced marriage that never consummated, and Nebraska would need a complete overhaul to just to meet the modern standard of Pitt, who should be the Nittany Lions’ chief rival?

Uh…why not Iowa?

1. The Games Have Been Hot Fire

Since Kirk Ferentz took over at Iowa, the series with Penn State is split 10-8 in the Hawkeyes’ favor, and there have been some absolute classics. Start with 2000, with Ferentz’s nascent regime gasping for air and stealing one in Happy Valley:

The game was tied 16-16 with 4 seconds left, when Penn State missed a game-winning 56-yard field goal attempt. Nate Kaeding made his fourth field goal of the day in double overtime, and a Hawkeye interception sealed the win.

That victory set off a five-game Iowa winning streak in the series, one of which ended in another overtime thriller and one that stands out above the rest:

It’s 6-4 with an intentional safety; Kirk might as well have walked across the field and poked Paterno in the eye.

The series took a two-year hiatus, and the return in 2007 was a Penn State blowout. But I remain convinced that the 2008 game was the most important game of the Ferentz Era, and it’s an instant classic.

If 2008 gave the series stakes, the 2009 game cranked those stakes up to 11. Just a friendly reminder that Clayborn is a big defensive end, for no reason in particular:

Iowa won again in 2010, in a game that wasn’t particularly memorable, and didn’t win again for a decade. The 2012 and 2016 games weren’t even close, as a Paterno-free Penn State found its new stride.

But the 2017 game — The Saquon Barkley Game — is another classic, decided on a 4th & Goal completion with four seconds to play, and you have no idea how it pains me to say that.

The 2018 game was one of just two in the last nine years where Iowa held a two-possession lead and lost, with a Nate Stanley interception on a broken play preventing the Hawkeyes from a go-ahead score with 4 minutes left. The 2019 game was most notable for Iowa’s alternate jerseys and Brandon Smith’s touchdown catch, but it wasn’t a bad game. Iowa broke the losing streak in an empty Beaver Stadium in 2020.

And then, of course, there was 2021, and No. 4 Penn State vs. No. 3 Iowa:

In the last 25 years, they’ve played 18 times, and 9 of those games came down to the last possession. You could put 7 of those games on Ferentz God-tier rewatch level. They’re not all Super Bowl XLII, but that’s a remarkable ratio of wheat to chaff.

2. They’re Evenly Matched…Now.

At the time the Big Ten paired Penn State with Nebraska, they looked similar on paper. That obviously didn’t bear out over time, but it made sense in 2009. But Iowa is a pretty solid comparable to Penn State over the last decade.

James Franklin took over in State College in 2014. Since then, he is 80-36 overall, and 49-30 in the Big Ten. He has won one division title and one Big Ten Championship (2016) and has qualified for 8 bowl games. In that same period of time, Kirk Ferentz is 81-36 overall and 51-27 in the Big Ten. Iowa has won two division titles, no Big Ten Championships, and qualified for 9 bowl trips. The records are basically identical; Iowa’s slight edge is in no small part due to playing in the West. We have Iowa State. They have Pitt, at least sometimes. Call it a draw. Both teams were ranked for the 2018, 2019 and 2021 games, and within seven spots of each other for all three. You could put the two programs in a blind taste test and be unable to tell them apart, at least on win-loss record.

3. There’s Some Heat

Obviously, the 2008 and 2009 thing brought the series to a boiling point, but Iowa and Penn State have been fighting this war for some time now. Kirk Ferentz, a Western Pennsylvania guy at heart, has always circled this game. He cried on the sideline after 6-4, in large part because he’d been to his father’s funeral just a few hundred miles away the previous day. And while Ferentz clearly respected JoePa and had a longstanding relationship with Bill O’Brien through his son and Bill Belichick, there’s no such connection with Franklin. These games have gotten chippy, borderline nasty, going back to the Barkley game in 2017. And with the way the 2021 game played out — Penn State comfortably winning until Clifford went down, then bleeding it all back to Iowa — there is no sign of either side calling for a truce.

4. Both Sides Need This

As we discussed up top, Penn State’s a 33-year veteran of the Big Ten and still feels like a stranger. Every attempt to pair it with a “rival” falls flat, either because the other program collapses on itself or the basis of the rivalry didn’t make much sense in the first place. And while PSU wants to compare itself with Michigan and Ohio State, they’re never turning that steel cage death match into a triple threat, and they always look third-best by comparison. So let’s give them something to work with, a program on their level who always plays them tough and gets them some of the national respect they crave when they win.

But what about Iowa? The Hawkeyes already play three trophy games, all of which are protected under the latest Big Ten scheduling proposal (which may be toast already with the additions of Oregon and Washington) or legislative fiat. Does Iowa really need another rival?

Actually, there might not be a better time for Iowa to backburner some of the regional hostility. Nebraska is years away from a comeback, if it’s even possible. Minnesota is cyclical at best, already-peaked at worst. Iowa State is regressing to its historical mean with every passing Saturday. And while Wisconsin may still be formidable, there is a better-than-zero chance that their attempt to marry the air raid to their usual heavy-duty offense works about as well as wedding Ferentz’s zone running scheme to Greg Davis’ horizontal offense. We’ve seen “modernization” attempts set programs hopelessly back (looking at you, Lincoln).

Even if Wisconsin remains Wisconsin, they’re the only regional rival at a consistent enough level to lend Iowa some gravitas for a win. The lament of the Iowa State game has always been that it’s a no-win situation for the Hawkeyes. Frankly, the Nebraska game has gotten close to that level in the last decade. There is an occasional upshot Minnesota team, but not with enough frequency to matter. But beating Penn State means something, and not just to Iowa fans. Winning the Quadrangle of Hate doesn’t carry national meaning. Winning in Happy Valley does, and with the Big Ten killing divisions and football seemingly moving toward something like a super-conference at breakneck speed, it’s time Iowa stops associating with the mids in its neighborhood and levels up.

We don’t need a trophy. Penn State’s one trophy game proves that trophies don’t make rivalries, and that bull thing Iowa exchanges with Wisconsin proves that rivalries don’t need trophies. We just need animosity, and we’ve already got plenty of that. Let’s make Iowa-Penn State the rivalry that both teams deserve.